When Neighbours Are Knobs!

Everyone needs them right?Like hell do I. For years I’ve thought my Mum was crackers living in a cottage in the middle of nowhere but now I’m starting to realise why she does. She doesn’t have to put up with neighbours. Don’t get me wrong some neighbours are fantastic but some are complete and utter knobs, so to avoid being a knob neighbour here’s a list of don’ts.

1. Don’t park so close to my car I need a sodding tin opener to get back in it. I AM NOT knocking your door for permission to go to work. It’s bad enough I have to go as it is!

2. Don’t send your kids round to “just borrow” something every 10 mins. Not on, unless you’re family…even then you’re pushing your luck!

3. Don’t let your dog shit on the green outside and not clean it up. Saw some kids playing army out there, doing commando rolls. *Shudder*

4. Don’t have loud, raucous parties til 3am every night. Nope I’m not jealous despite what you think. I just want to bloody sleep. (And I’ve got to get up early and argue with you over parking see number 1).

5. Don’t let drunken guests from above party pee/spew on my front garden. Bleurgh.

6. Don’t let your kids use my fence as a goal. I’m quite fond of my windows and they are most certainly not Premier league material. Although their swearing probably is!

7.  Don’t dump your gardening rubbish into my garden ‘cos you can’t be bothered to order the right bin.

8. Don’t pinch the bins meant for us when we move in and then show off about how you have a brand spanking new set of bins!

9. Don’t set up Scrapheap Challenge in your garden and start up the angle grinder at 8am. The fella works nights and believe me he’s bloody grumpy when he can’t sleep.

10. Don’t have so many cats I can’t see my garden for cat poo. It stinks and I can’t stand the incessant screeching after the kids have been told they can’t go out to play! I love cats as much as the next person but do you seriously need 20 in one house?!

Are there others you can add? Or am I just a tad fussy?


32 thoughts on “When Neighbours Are Knobs!

  1. Hi Julie, I’m not sure I could go back to living in a place with neighbours right next door. We do have neighbours, but at least not right on top of us.

    One thing that does annoy me a tad is the height of one neighbours ‘natural fence’ (a row of thick fur trees, which are nice and green, but far to high and block the sun in the winter (in the summer they are a blessing, but don’t tell them that!), but other than that (oh, and the beeping of the car horn when Mr. arrives home and wants the world to know or his Mrs. to carry his bags) we can’t complain…..Mmmm….

    I remember my Dad sprinkling black pepper around his plants to stop the nieghbours cat scatting all over his freshly planted flowers. He hated that cat!


    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh gosh i thought my neighbours were bad but yours are most certainly worse! Our upstairs neighbours son is a nightmare you won’t believe what he gets upto…I’ve seen him walking across the road in slow motion as soon as he sees a car coming, he also runs up and down the stairs like a sodding great big elephant and he kicks his football into the bin doors which in turn bounces off hitting the parked cars. He is such an ill behaved child who’s mother is never around. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awful when they’re not taught right from wrong isn’t it and running in front of cars is sooooo bad 😦 x


  3. We have the best neighbour and the worst neighbour. The best neighbour is a lovely lady, takes our mail, sorts everything out for us if someone needs to be in and will check on our cat when we’re away (despite the fact he sometimes destroys her garden).

    Then there’s… the other side, among her many lovely traits, domestic arguments at three in the morning with regular police call outs and… er… really loud sex. It sounds like a real healthy relationship, whatever’s going on over there anyway!

    Great post though – think I have it easy in comparison! Nipping over from #bestandworst x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hmmm … Please don’t allow your ex-partner back in the house, breaching his restraining order then ring the police a few days later to complain when you remember why he had the restraining order in the first place. This lead to a police raid in the middle of the day that snarled up the traffic and meant we couldn’t get back into the house for a few hours as police wanted to talk to partner about other stuff. (We were moving in a week’s time, it couldn’t have happened quick enough!) #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

  5. when we were house hunting, one of the biggest selling points of where we ended up is that there is only one close neighbor, and even he ended up being a pain in the ass. Next time, private island.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Haha I love this!!! So true, we used to live a door away from a complete and utter psycho neighbour, she was awful I can’t even list half the stuff she did as it was so bad but she constantly used to block people in and not move her car when you asked. She was just nasty. Thanks for linking up to the #bestandworst and hope to see you again next week!

    Helen X

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m with you, I hate bad neighbours, I regret moving into a semi due to the noise of constant parties we had from next door (complaints to environmental health seem to have slowed them down a little!), I would happily live in the middle of nowhere if I could.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. No you are not fussy at all. I have neighbours the same as yours by the looks of it.

    I’d also add.

    Don’t let your kids call round looking for their ball out of my garden, when they have blatantly stolen our children’s ball when we were out.

    Don’t pass snide comments about the noise of hoovering at 10am. When you and your family were keeping whole neighbourhood awake till 5.30 with anti social behaviour.

    I’d be here all day lol

    Great post. I thought I was just being sensitive.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Cat shit problem…. Get a dog! We now have two and I’ve said goodbye to every bloody cat that shat in my garden!!
    My biggest problem with my neighbour is that he’s sooooooooooo loud and he swears A Lot!!! I hate that I can hear him through the walls.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I’ve had some great neighbours, some terrible neighbours and some that were completely crazy. I look back now and giggle but at the time it’s a nightmare. Current neighbours are generally ok but infuriatingly I hear everything that goes on in neighbours bedroom that is next to ours. And I mean everything… Luckily when it happens it never lasts for long 🙂 Me bad!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. omg your neighbours sound horrendous. THere really is nothing worse than bad neighbours. Home is your salvation and if its not your space of peace tranquility and mindfulness then it becomes so stressful. My dad had a breakdown because of bad neighbours. #LGRTStumble

    Liked by 1 person

  12. You’ve made me remember my old neighbours and so glad we moved! Although bless don’t watch films so loud that the house 3 doors down can hear it. Either get headphones or a hearing aid- or both!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Our neighbour has acquired a new boyfriend (we call him Trevor, since he looks like the guy from GTA 5) and he is an absolute arse. He owns a Jaguar that, despite being at least second-hand and tatty as all heck, apparently gives him the right to park anywhere. I wish he’d go have his midlife crisis somewhere else, thank you very much! #LGRTStumble

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Oh my, neighbours! I can’t complain too much because I married one of mine 😉 We did move house though and the new neighbourhood has a few ‘problem’ neighbours, like the woman over the back who has four dogs that bark to be let in all day and often most of the night. Or the other woman who lets her toddler hang out of the upstairs window. Then there is the guy who built a hot tub house at the bottom of his garden and had it fitted with a huge tv…okay, there may be a bit of jealousy with that one. My direct neighbours are fine…when no-one is home. The kids like to run up and down the stairs all day in the winter and constantly lose their ball in our garden in the summer. Their older sister likes to play music at full volume with her window open just so everyone can hear what crap she likes listening too, and their mum and her boyfriend have a loose headboard which is up against our adjoining wall…oh no they’re at it again! I’d go back to my last neighbourhood in an instant, but this house is so much bigger.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh my goodness!Sounds like a bit of a nightmare at times!Funnily enough we moved from a really lovely area to this one for a bigger house, I didn’t enjoy being squished in but some people round here really annoy me, like the neighbour who came and dumped a bag full of her empty Lambrini bottles in our recycling box because hers was full 😡


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