Well I must have mightily pissed some one off somewhere. Maybe it’s Karma for dumping that lad when I was 14 but I really have had one hell of a week!
It started off with a bit of head scratching – no not intelligent coming up with ideas head scratching but full blown why’s my bloody head so itchy scratching. Poor old L’oreal got the blame at first until the horrible realisation hit me that we had visitors. Not nice ones that turn up with chocolate muffins. Creepy crawly vile nitty ones. Ugh. First time for everything I suppose! Spot of Hedrin soon sorted us all out.
Then there was the bump in the car.That scary “shit, shit, shit” that goes through your mind when you realise in slow motion that you’ll never stop in time and you’re going to hit each other. Crap your pants time. We both got out looked at each other and laughed nervously. Queue of traffic behind us wasn’t laughing though, grumpy sods. Right outside a police station too!
So I got over that, no harm done and then merrily minding my own business scoffing cakes and drinking coffee by the bucket load – as you do when you go to your Mum’s – pack the kids in the car to leave and realise there’s a bloody 3 inch crack in my windscreen that wasn’t there when I parked up! Now she lives in a cottage surrounded by fields so we have no idea how it happened! Dive bombing buzzard? Rabid squirell?Tamping tractor driver? Sozzled sheep?
We’ll never know! So I sulk my way home and console myself with giant chocolate buttons! Nothing else can go wrong right? Nope!
Get woken up at 5 a.m to shouts of “Mum, I feel sick”. Oh how lovely, another sickness bug! Out comes the special green sick bowl of doom! Ok, I can deal with this, surely there’s nothing else in store for me now? Still nope…
“Muuuuummmm a coin accidentally fell in my mouth and I swallowed it” Get in the car kids we’re off to A+E. There’s a sign with 6-7 hour wait emblazoned across the window. Oh poo. Mind you,I’ve never felt so despised as the moment they called us through to the the children’s A+E bit instead of waiting with the adults (it was 10pm) I got death stares from all angles. Well apart from the guy with the massive black eye,his was more of a death wink! 3 hours and an x-ray later little lady was fine and we were sent packing.
Now kids don’t touch ANYTHING!
Oh and Ben if it is ‘cos I dumped you, then stuff you! You were well boring anyway!!!!