We all do stupid stuff when we’re young, I certainly did! So here’s a light hearted look at the warnings I’d give my kid self!
1. Make more effort at school, your crush on that fit lad in year 11 might seem like the most important thing but honestly get on with some bloody work and stop doodling hearts with your names in and that thing where you work out how much percentage you love them (remember that?) is bollocks.
2. The above crush turns out to be a complete knobhead, as do most of the boys at school especially the ones who really believe they’re in East 17! Its really NOT alright!
3. Don’t wear your denim shirt and blue jeans on Saturday 7th August to go into town with your 2 besties. They WILL be wearing the same outfit and you WILL die of shame!
4. Watch out for that lad sticking his foot out and tripping you up when you’re 14 leading you to break your wrist. Bastard. Then getting back to school to find 2 other girls in your year have done it too (you can’t make this stuff up) it’s embarrassing and your crush is far too cool to sign your cast & you end up with stuff like “Julie loves Mr Jones 4eva” instead. Mr Jones is 102 and hates you. He will later send you out of class for spraying yourself with Impulse.
5. Don’t nag your Mum to buy you jeans for months when you’re 11, she WILL buy you crap ones off the market with Ghostbusters transfers on the thighs. You WILL get caught with the turps trying to get them off.
6. Don’t go round your street picking up all dog crap with your mate thinking it will get you a brownie badge. Brown Owl will NOT be amused!
7. Don’t hang a handbag on your wardrobe door and then pretend to play tug of war. The damn wardrobe WILL fall on top of you and Mum will screech at you like a banshee for being so bloody stupid (after rescuing you).
8. Those life size dolls that Dad bought you aren’t really alive and won’t kill you if you don’t shut them in the airing cupboard at night – although maybe it WAS because you shut them in the cupboard…creepy little shits.
9. Don’t play blind mans bluff with your brother with a dolls dress on your head.The git will tell you you’re walking into the bedroom when actually you’re about to go headfirst down the stairs!
Sweet – til he tried to kill me!!!
10. Don’t get up to pass Dad the remote (lazy old sod) when he’s watching A-Team in the dark. You will fall over and smash your eye on the coffee table and have a scar for life. Oh and don’t scream so much they give up trying and stick some butterfly stitches on it instead of proper ones which means it looks shit. You big girl’s blouse!!!
You can read the 2nd one here if you want to see how accident prone I was too!
What would you tell yourself if you could?
journalofjules.com 
haha I love this hun…this needs to be a tagged post!! You sound so accident prone and I love idea of Ghostbuster transfers on your jeans! Love the piccy too xx #picnmix
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Hadn’t thought of that,will look into it lol x
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hahaha love this definitely agree with the above you should make a little badge and do a tagged post for this I think its really funny there are too many times I can think of that have been completely cringe great post #PicknMix
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Lol,I’m sure there’s loads more buried in the pits of my brain!!Will definitely look at doing a tagged post,great idea isn’t it x
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Oh this is hilarious! Love this post….um tug of war with a wardrobe?!! mad woman 😉 You always crack me up, thanks for linking this to #PicknMix
Stevie xx
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Honestly I was so dippy it’s unreal.Im not anymore of course…😉 x
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Haha I love this! I would tell myself so many things, may have to steal your idea. The crushes you have in year 11 are so intense aren’t they! Especially if you end up on the same table as them. No work done all year! Thanks for linking up to #PickNMix
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Just found your blog, this post transported me back to school! Hilarious. Really beautifully written, v funny I was totally absorbed. Helen – mess stress and fancy dress
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Thankyou x
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How often did you get seriously hurt as a child! I dont think I was that accident prone although it sounds like some were other people causing it. Very funny. I hope your life is less eventful now.
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Yes thank goodness lol!Until I wrote this I hadn’t realised quite how bad I was !!
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Had totally forgotten about that percentage thing! Brilliant!
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Flipping heck I’ve just HURT myself laughing. Number 1 all the way. Except I went to an all girls’ school so it was various members of Duran Duran. That percentages thing WAS total bollocks.
#babybrainmonday
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Now Simon Le Bon wasn’t half bad was he 😉 x
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This made me laugh. I’d probably tell me kids not to pierce random parts of themselves as they will get infected and turn green! Plus a belly button piercing and a ben and jerrys addiction don’t go well together! 😀 #BabyBrainMonday
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Ha!Fab 🙂
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*my kids!!! Teach me to type tired. I might just blame the new phone! 😉
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That percentages thing – I spent so long doing that, I nearly forgot that it wasn’t the real way to find out actual percentages!
Very funny post 🙂
x Alice #babybrainmonday
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Lol! Laughing so hard! Some of these really bring back memories! I swear I cried over my year 11 crush! #loser lol. Thanks for linking up to #babybrainmonday x
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Ah that was tame. I was expecting some proper stupid things knowing you.
If I was to write a list I’d be here all week and TBH fair the stupidest things I’ve done have all been as an Adult.
Falling through a skylight, goofy (check out Prabs #oopsfiles for that one) stranded in Kavos and that’s just the ones off the top of my head.
I’d probably tell myself that running away from a boarding school 15 miles away from anywhere. As by the time you get there, there is nothing to do and when the school collects you, they charge you for petrol.
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