Crap we believed as kids!

Funny how much stupid stuff was rumoured when we were kids and when you’re young you believe all sorts of nonsense. Every school/town/city has it’s own “urban myths” and ours was just the same. This post was inspired by Julian at Northern Dad Blog with his post about school in the 80’s it’s hilarious, have a read 🙂

Crap we believed as kids!

•To get to our school we had to walk through a graveyard (nice) and one of the graves had an angel sat on top. Rumour had it that if you ran around it 3 times it would open it’s eyes. I ran around it 3 times. Did she open her eyes? Search me, I was out of there like a rat up a drainpipe. I wasn’t sticking round to find out. Hard as nails me…

•The cottage next to the school housed a witch. Honest. Mandy’s cousins aunty’s friend told my brother that he saw her warts and all. If your ball goes in her garden and you go in there to get it she’ll eat it. Then eat you. In all the years I went to that primary school I never once saw who lived there. Maybe that’s not a bad thing…

•There were devil worshippers at the tower in the hills. They sacrificed humans so don’t even think about going camping, they’ll dance round a fire with torches and chop random bits of you off. This could possibly be true I suppose but who the heck wants to find out?!!

•The man who ran the local bakery did unspeakable things with his doughnuts. As you do. Poor guy had to get the holes in them somehow didn’t he?! Chelsea buns were ok though. Well I bloody hope they were because I took a bit of a liking to them.  They never did me any harm anyway.

•When we went on a school trip -mountain climbing/outdoor pursuits style trip – that involved a stay over, one particular trip had the dormitory backing onto a graveyard (there’s a theme here) and written all over the delightful plastic waterproof mattresses were warnings about the “Black Nun” who of course would get you if you dared to go to sleep. This was written amongst the disgusting “Roses are Red” dirty poems that weren’t in the slightest bit funny 😀 all fun and games til 3am and you’re all terrified to sleep and the teacher wanders in in her best nightie and her hair all over the place. But it’s dark so you don’t realise it’s her to start with so you scream and then she screams because you startled her and then you get a right bollocking for messing about.

•Whenever you went on a school trip (as above) at least 2 of the teachers were having an affair. Whether they were happily married and 1 was at least 100 and the other 30 made no difference, every look, every laugh triggered much elbowing, sniggering and “see, I told you they were shagging” I very much doubt they were though. I imagine they were far too stressed after a day with us little gits to have the energy for shenanigans!

I wouldn’t change it for anything though, it’s all part of growing up isn’t it. Next time you have a doughnut you might want to check the size of the hole the jam comes out of though 😉


A Cornish Mum


19 thoughts on “Crap we believed as kids!

  1. Well, I don’t think I will eat another doughnut ever again!

    There was a store room in my old primary school and the rumour was that one of the old headmasters died in it and so it was haunted. One Friday afternoon I got locked inside it when the door handle fell off. I have never been so scared in my life! One of the teachers had to kick the door down to get me out. Yikes. Xxx

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  2. Ha ha! I bet the teachers were up to monkey-business!
    I remember being told that if you looked into a mirror at precisely midnight, you will see a witch standing behind you. I still never look at mirrors in the dark!! xx

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  3. Haha thanks for putting me off doughnuts lol! I had totally forgot about most of these we had similar ones at our school except as well as next to cemetery our school was on one! With all the stories about haunted toilets etc #KCACOLS

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  4. I remember having these type of stories when I was a kid too. There is really so much crap going on. When I was 10 years old I spent the summer at my auntie’s beach house that was a little bit far from the main beach area so you needed to cross a big park. There was a crazy man always there (day and night) who apparently was dangerous and could kill you so when I was out with some friends at night and I had to come back to the house on my own and I had to cross that park, I was so scared that the crazy man was going to do something to me that I was peeing myself every time that I had to cross the park thinking that he as going to kill me!! So scary. Of course he never did anything to me. So yes we just believe so much crap when are kids!! lol Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. I would love to see you again on Sunday! 🙂 x

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  5. Haha. It all makes for an entertaining childhood doesn’t it?! No doubt we all had random rumours at school. I will never see a doughnut in the same light again! #KCACOLS

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  6. Donut holes!? *gags*

    I was once told a rather hideous story about hotdogs. You know the frankfurter type ones that are a bit slimey on the outside. I don’t think I can even bring myself to type any further detail, needless to say that I just cannot eat them any more *shudders*. We also had a “dell” at school (with a fenced off 30 foot drop). It was of course commonly known for teachers to throw pupils into said “dell” for heinous crimes like skiving a lesson. They honestly did. My friend knew someone who’s brother knew someone that it had happened to and everything! 😂

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  7. The black Nun one was the same for us for an outdoor pursuits type trip .. i wonder if it’s the same place.

    I had a jam donut yesterday actually… now I feel a bit sick 🙈😂😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

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