Big Boys Don’t Cry

Big Boys Don't Cry

To the man who’s just told his 4 year old son ‘shhh big boys don’t cry’ was that really what you wanted to say? I watched as he was running too fast, not looking where he was going and fell on his face, all the other parents turned with concern at his pained wail with the look of ‘do I pick him up?’ that you get these days with a child that doesn’t belong to you. Did you swoop in Superman style, scoop  him up, wipe his tears and hug him tight? No, you chose to shout – around a corner might I add ‘shhh big boys don’t cry.’ Maybe you were just embarrassed but there was a bit of an awkward moment where no one knew where to look (men and women) because let’s not lie, we were a bit shocked at your reaction.

Why shouldn’t he cry? He spectacularly face planted the floor. Even the biggest boy would have had a whimper. It obviously hurt, he’s showing emotion. Is it really a good thing that you are in effect telling him he should hide his emotions? To push those feelings away and hide them? Put on a brave face?  Will that serve him well as he approaches adulthood?

Should he not play with dolls or push a pushchair just because that would make him too girly? Is he only supposed to play with boy toys because that will make him more manly as he grows up? What if he wanted to try out a girls costume just because he liked the colour or wear a pair of pink play shoes because they make an awesome noise?

Does that go for girls? Are they allowed to have a sob when they graze their knees? Should my daughter not wear her much loved Batman and Spider-Man costumes because that’s just not what big girls do? Should she always wear dresses and have ribbons in her hair?

My son is quite emotional and cries quite easily, should I be telling him to man up and stop the snivelling or should I put an arm around him tell him it’s ok and distract him with something fun to do instead? Will it make him too soft and quick to cry or will it show him it’s ok to be upset but a hug and a kind word can make you feel much better?

Of course I don’t know you and all parents are different and I’m sorry that I wanted to pick your boy up, give him a hug and tell him he was a silly billy for running so fast.



Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday



9 thoughts on “Big Boys Don’t Cry

  1. Aaaàh that poor little boy as I was reading this I too just wanted to scoop him up and give him a little cuddle. To tell him he’ll be alright and that in future he should be a little more careful whilst running so fast. I can’t believe his dad could say that to him. Is it any wonder why most men don’t share their feelings if this is how they are being raised. Okay to be fair there is a good chance his dad was told the same thing when he was a boy. Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These kind of people really grind my gears. Seriously, they need to get a grip and stop being so stereotypical when it comes to gender related issues. The poor little boy, I would have given him a big hug and told him to dry his tears when he is good and ready!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh this riles me. It might seem like just a throwaway comment but it’s really not; it perpetuates the stereotype that boys are boys and girls are girls and should act a certain way from early on I’m childhood.

    Let’s hope the dad gave him a big old cuddle as soon as he saw you weren’t looking.


    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh this is a real bug bear of mine, people who tell their boys not to cry. Those kind of boys grow up to be men who bottle up their emotions and vent them in other ways. I would never tell my boys not to cry, poor little boy just needed a hug. #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  5. God i hate when this happens. I just wanna scoop them up and give them a hug! My eldest is 3 and cries like every hour. If i didn’t pick her up and hug her i swear she would pack up and leave home! Kids need love and hugs in my book! #KCACOLS

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Oh no poor little boy!! I also want to hug him!! It is so annoying when you see these things! I don’t understand these gender stereotypes. I hope my girls don’t feel like that. I really wish people stop doing that!! They day they do stop it, we will be living in a better world! Thanks so much for sharing this at #KCACOLS. It is always lovely to have you! I hope to see you again on Sunday, 🙂 xx

    Liked by 1 person

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