If you’re Welsh or you know someone who is then is post will make sense to you. If not, then good luck deciphering it! Sometimes I wonder how anybody manages to understand anything we say. It’s all arse backwards, most of it – see what I did there ;-).

Now in a minute

You’re not Welsh unless you’ve said this at least once. Had a few rollockings from my Mum for saying it. ‘It’s either now or in a minute, it can’t be both.” Alright, alright Mum, I’ll tidy my room now… (in a minute). By tidy I mean shoving my Just Seventeen magazines under the bed.

Where are you to / Where did you put it to

This one actually does my head in. ‘Where is our Mam TO?’  ‘Don’t know, think she’s round the back eating a butty’  ‘Where did you put my double strong super-dooper masking tape TO love?’ I don’t know but if you put a ‘to’ on the end again I’m going to tape your gob shut with the bloody stuff. Why do we need the ‘to’ on the end?

I woke up fast asleep/There it was gone

Sometimes I wonder if anything us Welsh say ever makes any sense! How is it even possible to wake up fast asleep? Or to walk out of class after putting your pencil case down and walk back in to find ‘there it was, gone.’

Whose coat is that jacket

Never, ever, in all my 38 years have I heard anyone say this other than to take the mick out of a Welsh person. Gits.

You can have 2 of them biscuits if you want one

Wait,what? How is that even…did someone say biscuits?

What it is,is

If you’re on the phone to a Welsh person or are indeed a Welsh person this is how you start your conversation especially if it’s important.

‘What it is, is I was leaning over to cwtch the cat and I tripped over our Dilwyn’s daps and went flying into the TV smashing it and giving myself a barrrddy bloody tamping I am, tamping’.

I’ll tell you for why

‘I’ll tell you for why young lady stop your chopsing, Brian Harvey will never be your boyfriend so stop doodling his name on my tidy telephone pad. Julie loves Brian, Mam’s arse, bloody tapped you are mun’.