There I was wandering around the kids bedroom muttering to myself about the bloody mess that no one else ever clears up when suddenly a smell hits me. Straight up the nostrils.
‘Oh god, there’s something dead in here’ I think eyes darting round the room. Memories of my brother and I finding woodlice and keeping them in a plastic cooker with lumps of mouldy fruit start barging their way into my mind. Of course the poor sods died, no doubt as a direct result of the noxious gases emanating from my brother’s backside. No, I don’t have the foggiest idea why it just seemed like a good thing to do at the time. Then there was the time my Mum looked under my brother’s bed and found an old ham sandwich moving around. It was full of maggots. Good grief that woman can shout. If those ‘thick ears’ she always threatened had come to fruition, my brother would have been sporting one hell of a whopper worthy of any Welsh rugby player.
I found myself sniffing around like some kind of frizzy haired bloodhound. Where is it? Sniff. What is it? Sniff. I feel nauseous. Sniff. The bin. It’s coming from the bin. Phew I’ve found the source. Now to work out why it smells like death. Hang on, I’m sure I’ve smelt it somewhere before. It reminds me of the stink of the mens toilets in the Ritzy nightclub 1996. No you mucky sods I wasn’t in there doing that … I was working as a barmaid and drew the short, very dirty straw.
The bin contains the usual, apple cores old bits of cut up paper and pee. Hang on a bloody minute here. PEE? Why is there pee in the bloody bin for the love of god?! Since I’ve caught her pooing in a Lego storage head before I’ve got a good idea who the prime suspect is. Although she didn’t do it. Honest Mummy. It must have been somebody else. Great, so I have a random person who breaks into my house, pees in the bin and buggers off again. Dirty get.
I expect to find some surprises in the teens room like the plate he swears isn’t in there but I found 3 months on with another species growing from it. Or the time I asked him to tidy up and rather than bring his cups down and wash them he put them in the bin bag which stayed in the middle of his room for a week. Only when I got fed up and picked it up to put it in the bin did I hear the clatter and work out what the lazy sod was up to. But pee-in-the-bin-gate was something else.
I asked my fellow bloggers what unusual/weird/disgusting items they’d found in their kids rooms and this is what they had to say:
Jemma from Mayflower Blogs: Bogies wiped on the walls. I don’t need to say more do I.
Sarah from Boo Roo and Tigger Too: My daughter decided to cover her room in talc once!
Jen from Just Average Jen: My son as a little one smeared poo everywhere numerous times as a sensory thing due to his disabilities, other than that would have to be discovering a bra in there – because he liked the pattern apparently lol!
Tracey from Pack the PJ’s: Fossilised banana skins … yoghurt pots with spoons stuck in them … every kind of wrapper possible …. all behind his bed, pretty much every time I pull the bed out to clean it (and I do it quite often). He’s just disgusting I’m afraid!
Katie from Mummys Diary: A dirty nappy which they had taken off themselves and hidden! Luckily the smell led me to it!
Hannah from Cupcake Mumma: Rock solid cupcake (what a waste..) sticky hairy teaspoons, Barbie legs but no Barbies..anywhere
Beth from Twinderelmo: My son has a cactus that he’s named Steve. He lives on the bookshelf… rather random I have to say!
Carly from Mummy and the chunks: Wet pants that have been hidden down my sons bed or dirty sticky medicine syringes from when they are poorly
Jo from My Monkeys Don’t Sit Still: No word of a lie, this morning I found a very solid dried up, rock hard bundle of broken wrap (as in bread) in my 6 yr old sons room! When I asked why it was there, both boys (the eldest is 9) said they didn’t know why it was there but knew it was!
Hayley from Devon Mama: His dried umbilical cord stump. I can’t actually blame my son, apparently his dad hid it after I tried to bin it. It’s disgusting, and now hidden in a box until I can convince him to give it up
Donna from Bobsys Mum: We’re moving house. The things I’ve found!! I though boggy wall was bad, then I moved the bed! Boggys everywhere!! Also had a bottle of what was once milk and 2 apple cores so far as well as a lot of something sticky. Absolutely no idea what it used to be!!
Emma-Louise from Even Angels Fall: Liquid apples in a bin I had forgotten my son had in his room – absolutely disgusting, especially when the bin dropped and I got the juice all over my foot!
Nicole from The Mum Reviews: I thought I found a small poo in the corner of my toddler’s room yesterday. Upon further inspection, and to my great relief, it turned out to be a piece of modelling clay that had been painstakingly fashioned into a poo-shape.
Zoe from Mummy & Liss: A bottle of milk that had been left down the side of the cot. Yuck. Straight in the bin..
Sarah from Whimsical Mumblings: It wasn’t me, but my mum found a random box in my little sisters room. My sister said it was a present for her….my sister had pooed in a box.
Leyla from This Day I Love: My sister once put raw meat inside a Keeper [if you can remember those] because she thought it was hungry. Our bedroom stank.
Natalie from Plutonium Sox: A whole pack of cotton buds, a plastic Thomas the tank engine, a felt tip and a gro clock – all inside her duvet cover.
And my personal random favourite:
Clare from Emmys Mummy: All the teaspoons and tablespoons from the cutlery drawer. He liked to bang them together and make noise so hid them all so he could do it whenever he wanted!
Have you ever found anything random, disgusting or weird in your kids room?