When I was at school being 40 was ancient, anything after that and you were practically dead. You were boring, wore corduroy and drank Horlicks at bedtime, we thought. Oh how the tables have turned. I am finding myself fast approaching 40 and have no idea how to celebrate it.
Well, actually that’s a fib, I do have several ideas such as an 80’s themed party or an 80’s weekend at Butlin’s but I’m either terrified to see them through or lacking in the basics required. Now you might think it’s a money thing but it’s not really it’s more about friends. To have a party you need people to attend. Of course I have my wonderful family but sometimes it’s nice to see other people, catch up on their lives. What if nobody does turn up though? What if you invite lots of people and you’re stood there in all your finery and no bugger turns up? Not even to nick the finger foods?!!
The last time I had a party was for my 18th back when I had lots of friends and not a care in the world, apart from the hideous hangover the next day. Go to work, go home, get dressed up, get pissed and have a laugh, rinse and repeat, that’s what we did back then. Fast forward a couple of years and I’m alone with a baby and all my friends have moved on to bigger and better things. Who wants to get stuck with the mate with a kid hanging off her tit at all hours hey? I was young, they were still in party mode, I was in ‘frig sake I’m too tired to do anything other than die on the settee come 8pm’ mode.
Getting sick of the same 4 walls I found a job in a call centre where I formed new friendships, bonding over a mutual hate of people who screamed at you for the long wait to get through, although with most of them being male I found myself again dropped when I forgot to buy one of my best friends a birthday card despite being in hospital miscarrying at the time. The friendship never recovered – not necessarily a bad thing given the circumstances but then the others all met partners in time and once they were on the scene I was surplus to requirements or a threat (no I don’t think I would be either, have you seen me without make up? Mind your eyes!!) so they got rid sharpish.
My job now is quite lonely, there’s plenty of people coming in and out but it’s not an office full of employees where you form friendships with colleagues , it’s just me and 1, maybe 2 others. So with that in mind who the hell do you invite to your exclusive party? To your mad throw up somewhere you shouldn’t weekend away in Butlins or otherwise?
I often see people all over my Facebook feed having amazing girly weekends away or nights out and wonder how I ended up being the proverbial watcher through the window. Like a Peeping Tom but far less pervy. I’ve never been invited on a hen night or to someone’s wedding other than family and that’s not happened in years. When did I end up being the saddo Billy No Mates? I have plenty of online friends whom I’ve met through blogging, they’ve seen me through good and bad times and are always there for me but we’re talking travelling hundreds of miles to be anywhere near me so it’s really not practical to expect that to happen.
Although I’m not particularly bothered about the prospect of turning 40 I do want to mark it in some way, make memories because it only happens once. So that is my dilemma, short of asking Hooks & Dragons to crochet me some new buddies I’m pretty much stumped.
So if you’re at work full time and the Mum’s at gymnastics rebuff your attempts at small talk where the bloody heck do you find new friends these days? Answers on a postcard or you know just like point me in the direction of some people who won’t murder me and eat my liver.
Hi I’m Julie. Wanna play?