Now I’m not one of those nutters who professes to be able to cure depression in 24 easy steps, this is purely meant as a light hearted post when you’ve had a bad day whether that’s grumpy shouty people at work, nightmare at home with the kids trying to drown each other in the downstairs bog or your supermarket of choice delivering your shopping and substituting your kids size 4 nappies for a multipack of yellow dusters. Want some ideas for taking your mind off it? Strap yourself in and here we go.
• Four finger kit-kat? Dairy Milk the size of your oldest child? Double Decker eaten the naughty way with the chewy bit first? Whatever floats your boat… get it in your gob. In the airing cupboard obviously, we’ll have none of that sharing nonsense, thankyou very much.
• Gin? Prosecco? Mad Dog 20/20? What’s your tipple? Drink it til you get that ‘just stepped off a waltzer at Porthcawl fair’ feeling. Just try not to spew, or your bad day will turn into 2 bad days when you’re scraping Tuna ‘n’ Pasta chunks off the bedroom carpet the next morning and stumbling into work with a monster headache.
• Give the kids a cuddle. They might fart in your lap or throw up their Turkey Drumsticks if you squeeze too hard but those little buggers give good hugs don’t they?
• Run a bath, chuck in 4 kinds of bubble bath – even the one you had from Aunt Agnes that smells a bit like old wardrobes and soggy cat pee carpet – just for the hell of it and stay there til you look like ET’s great grandad.
• Book a holiday somewhere hot and sunny. Mind you if you’re anything like me and skint most of the time then this could well backfire when you can only afford a trip to the park at the end of the road. You might have to make do with going to your Nan’s for some 35°C heat. How bloody hot are old people houses? Honest to God I go to my Dad’s place and melt across the floor. Then he shouts at me for making a bloody mess on his carpet.
• Go for a run – great if you’re athletic you can feel all smug. If you’re a lazy git like me however you’ll limp home after 2 minutes with scuffed knees ‘cos you fell over your own sodding feet. Spend an hour hunting down plasters that don’t have Hello Kitty or Spider-Man emblazoned across them. Unless of course that’s your thing.
• Buy some gorgeous new shoes. Shoes are awesome at making you feel better. Unless of course you buy some ridiculously high heels and go arse over tit down the stairs when you go to show the other half said amazing stilettos. Still, there might be some fit DR’s in A+E. You never know your luck.
• Plan a date night, you’ll be too busy panicking that none of your ‘best’ clothes from 2002 fit any more – who the frigging hell inflated my bum to that size when I wasn’t looking? AND you’ll have to think of some sort of conversation with your other half that doesn’t involve the kids. Not as easy as it sounds.
• Do some craft with the kids. Spend the next 3 days peeling PVA glue off the dining chairs and finding glitter in unimaginable places but hey you have a lovely um… thingamabobberydoo to put on the mantlepiece or give it to Nanna as a gift. She’ll LOVE it.
• Get lost in a good book. Swept along by a Mr Darcy or Katniss Everdeen type you’ll forget all the stresses and strains. Mind you in real life they’ll still be likely to snore like a hippo or have cheesy feet but we can dream eh?
• Sort through the pile of odd socks that’s threatening to take over the world like little stripy stealth snakes. You can lose hours sorting out those little shits. They’re good. Too good.
Well, that’s all I’ve got! What’s your go to when you’ve had a bad day?