Diary Of The Summer Holidays Days 1 & 2


My breakfast consisted of Jaffa Cakes much to son who caught me scoffing them’s disgust particularly when I presented him with a healthy fruit kebabs. Spent most of the morning cuddled in a duvet with the girl and watched FGTV – we laughed a lot. Silly humour perfect for me. I paid for this dearly when she stored up all her energy and went absolutely bananas just before bed.

Fruit Kebabs

We’ve got a new girlfriend for our bunny. Poor cow got bonked 12 times in 10 minutes. Not as great as it sounds when boy rabbit has stuck his lipstick in her face, ears, midriff and every other bit except THE bit. Next time you hear someone say “at it like rabbits” you’ll never know if they’re just pervy and like sticking it each others ears, eyes or other orifices. Middle Man was absolutely horrified beyond belief. He knows what’s going on. He’s had the lessons at school. Little Lady just thinks he’s really shit at cuddling.

She’s pretty chubby because she’s been fed on rabbit muesli and kept totally in a hutch so we’re hoping we can get her weight down now that we’ve changed her diet and we let her run around. Her name has been changed 12 times already but Little Lady finally settled for Peanut.Well if that doesn’t work I’m sure all the humping will.

And they call it bunny loveeeeee

Little Lady is getting sassy, she likes to fire comebacks at Daddy who is a champion windup. Today’s fave was “well you’re a hairy white dog poo.” Most impressed at her use of imagination.

We completely cleared Asda of all stock in preparation for the daily wails of “I’m hungry!” “I need a snack!” and “I’m dying of starvation, honest!” they manage 6 hours at school on 1 packed lunch and an apple yet at home it’s a constant conveyor belt of snacks.

I have nothing planned this 6 weeks. Usually I plan loads but this year it’s all gone tits. I’m winging it. Which is something I most definitely should not do during such a chaotic time but hey ho. Stick around and follow the meltdown. The kids have already started to act strangely.



Knackered. Stayed up late watching Netflix and reading just because I could and there was no alarm in the morning. Only there is isn’t there? 2 pint sized perma hungry alarms. Coffee. All of it. The pain medication I take makes me really zombified of a morning but I’m a morning person so it kind of fights against each other until I become human. Ish.

It has been hotter than a camels bumhole and even the kids were really chilled out and actually played together without fighting. With actual toys would you believe? Alright Mario and Luigi might have been calling each other rude poo related names but it’s a change from Fortnite and Youtube! I love, love, love the hot weather but I’m sadly one of those people who always goes really red and flushed – thanks for that Mum!! Luckily I don’t burn either but I always make sure I slap on the suncream liberally and use one of these Solar Buddies for the kids to make it much easier. Trying to get suncream on kids who have no intention of standing still to let you do it properly.

Julie x (2)

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